>By DAVID DESMOND | Special to the Daily News | Updated: 7:29 p.m. Saturday, March 10, 2012 | Posted: 4:53 p.m. Saturday, March 10, 2012 |
Many entertaining descriptors are available to refer to grouping of animals, including a gaggle of geese, a murder of crows and a nest of vipers. But I would like to take this opportunity to coin a new collective noun to refer to a group of men who have received all-too-much attention of late: a mess of Republicans.
After many months (although it feels like years) of reserving judgment on the conservative men who would be king (as well as their kingmakers), I feel compelled to comment on the Republicans’ latest few weeks from hell. But, I would like to note that I’m registered as “No Party” because I’m sick and tired of politicians from both sides of the aisle — as well as those who straddle it in a futile attempt to appeal to everyone. I’ve tried to remain nonpartisan, but that has become increasingly difficult in a political climate in which extremism is thought to be the only approach that can win an election.
Let’s first take a look at the frontrunner — as of this millisecond, and much to the displeasure of those Republicans who would prefer that their candidate not have a viable chance to win in November — Mitt Romney.
Prior to his successful Super Tuesday, he pandered to the voters of Michigan by sharing his memories of the celebration of the 50th anniversary of the birth of the American automobile industry that took place in Detroit in 1946. Unfortunately, he had forgotten that he had been born in 1947.
How about Rick Santorum? Since I’m focusing on only his most recent faux pas, I’ll ignore his stodgy sweater vests, which are probably taking the place of Members Only jackets among the Tea Partiers, and instead repeat his statement that “President Obama once said he wants everyone in America to go to college. What a snob.” Obama may have his faults, but aspiring to have American children prolong their education isn’t one of them.
Then we have the fringe candidates. “Outsider” Ron Paul has reportedly endorsed a nonaggression pact with Mitt Romney, leading some to label him a hypocrite, while Newt Gingrich — you might remember him, he’s the man who guaranteed that he would become the Republican candidate for president last year — has dedicated himself to evaluating the apologies of others. He suggests that Obama was wrong to apologize for American soldiers’ burning of the Koran while Rush Limbaugh was right to apologize for calling Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute” after she suggested that health insurance should cover contraceptives.
That’s right, Rush, our friend and elusive neighbor (supposedly, but I’ve never seen him at Publix), apologized for his verbal bludgeoning of a well-intentioned law student, but, to my mind, there are certain blunders for which no apology can ever be sufficient.
Eight months remain until the general election, but it may already be too late for this mess of Republicans. Their muddled and middling efforts have only served to increase the probability that their very worst nightmare is likely to come true: four more years of Barack Obama.